My first post on the subject of Alzheimer's.
The carer's perspective.
I do not intend this blog to be all about me, carer to my wife of 40 years this August the 14th and I am not trying to elicit sympathy for my plight as a 'carer' now that she has contracted Alzheimer's; my wife's care was a given when I first married her on the 14th of August 1971 and I don't need a piece of paper or a do-gooder (from the nanny state or from the street) to tell me where my duty lies.
On saying the above I do not intend to knock well meaning people who give me sound advice on how to proceed with Alzheimer's in relation to my wife's care nor do I wish to alienate myself from caring organisations that are solely there for the victims of this 'robber of a persons identity' and have no political agenda, because when a person or an organisation has a political agenda then their primary edict gets lost in the fug of the deception that is politics.
A bit of background goes a long way.
In 1970 I, a serving soldier in the Scots Guards, was stationed at Victoria barracks in Windsor, Berkshire. As an eighteen year old I was wet behind the ears and on reflection I thought I was the fookin' bees knees but still looked up to the older 'sweats' for guidance, which I soon realised was a massive mistake as your elders or 'betters' have their own take on life that is often the wrong path for you to follow but follow you do until it hits you that you are following the path of morons and future criminals.
One facet of a soldiers life was drink! Yes, the demon alcohol was our release from the endless drudgery that we had to endure; march, march, march, strip that weapon in xx number of minutes and rebuild it again etc, etc. As soldiers we would train for days and days and then drink ourselves stupid when we had that new fangled 'window' of opportunity but oh boy didn't we drink and smoke our way out out of that drudgery! I guess today we would be called binge drinkers and nicotine addicts.
So a soldiers 'down time' was going to the pub and getting, in modern terms, 'rat arsed whilst smoking numerous 'fags'' and occasionally the inevitable fight would follow but there was no 'stiff upper lip', I'll see you outside type of rubbish, oh no, there would be 'glassings' and punches thrown and blood strewn carpets, but still the soldier would be up at the crack of dawn wondering what they did the night before and the inevitable consequences that would ensue.
So nothing new to me in this modern age of anti alcohol, anti drugs, anti smoking bull, I've seen it all before and I'll see it all again but what I wont see is a coherent, fact based analysis that will make me a better carer of my wife and her and Alzheimer's! I hope I am proved wrong.
Amongst the garbage I found my diamond
By any standards it was a small pub and movement, when a few people were at the bar, was restricted somewhat, but still, there was other bars in the town of Windsor that we could go to later, the night was young after all...and then I saw her.
It was early evening when I first set eyes on my future wife Beryl, yes, I know, Beryl is not a modern name like Xander as my wife's hairdresser's daughter has called their child, but to me that name, Beryl, is forever implanted in my mind as love and a gem in the firmament of my loves lost.
In the ensuing postings I will endevour to write about my fears for the future whilst talking about the present as I ramble on about the past as it relates to Beryl's dementia, I will try and show the funny side but will not lose sight of the seriousness of Alzheimer's...
The carer's perspective.
I do not intend this blog to be all about me, carer to my wife of 40 years this August the 14th and I am not trying to elicit sympathy for my plight as a 'carer' now that she has contracted Alzheimer's; my wife's care was a given when I first married her on the 14th of August 1971 and I don't need a piece of paper or a do-gooder (from the nanny state or from the street) to tell me where my duty lies.
On saying the above I do not intend to knock well meaning people who give me sound advice on how to proceed with Alzheimer's in relation to my wife's care nor do I wish to alienate myself from caring organisations that are solely there for the victims of this 'robber of a persons identity' and have no political agenda, because when a person or an organisation has a political agenda then their primary edict gets lost in the fug of the deception that is politics.
A bit of background goes a long way.
In 1970 I, a serving soldier in the Scots Guards, was stationed at Victoria barracks in Windsor, Berkshire. As an eighteen year old I was wet behind the ears and on reflection I thought I was the fookin' bees knees but still looked up to the older 'sweats' for guidance, which I soon realised was a massive mistake as your elders or 'betters' have their own take on life that is often the wrong path for you to follow but follow you do until it hits you that you are following the path of morons and future criminals.
One facet of a soldiers life was drink! Yes, the demon alcohol was our release from the endless drudgery that we had to endure; march, march, march, strip that weapon in xx number of minutes and rebuild it again etc, etc. As soldiers we would train for days and days and then drink ourselves stupid when we had that new fangled 'window' of opportunity but oh boy didn't we drink and smoke our way out out of that drudgery! I guess today we would be called binge drinkers and nicotine addicts.
So a soldiers 'down time' was going to the pub and getting, in modern terms, 'rat arsed whilst smoking numerous 'fags'' and occasionally the inevitable fight would follow but there was no 'stiff upper lip', I'll see you outside type of rubbish, oh no, there would be 'glassings' and punches thrown and blood strewn carpets, but still the soldier would be up at the crack of dawn wondering what they did the night before and the inevitable consequences that would ensue.
So nothing new to me in this modern age of anti alcohol, anti drugs, anti smoking bull, I've seen it all before and I'll see it all again but what I wont see is a coherent, fact based analysis that will make me a better carer of my wife and her and Alzheimer's! I hope I am proved wrong.
Amongst the garbage I found my diamond
By any standards it was a small pub and movement, when a few people were at the bar, was restricted somewhat, but still, there was other bars in the town of Windsor that we could go to later, the night was young after all...and then I saw her.
It was early evening when I first set eyes on my future wife Beryl, yes, I know, Beryl is not a modern name like Xander as my wife's hairdresser's daughter has called their child, but to me that name, Beryl, is forever implanted in my mind as love and a gem in the firmament of my loves lost.
In the ensuing postings I will endevour to write about my fears for the future whilst talking about the present as I ramble on about the past as it relates to Beryl's dementia, I will try and show the funny side but will not lose sight of the seriousness of Alzheimer's...
To be continued...
TBY, is it ok if I just "sit next to you quietly" for a bit, while you're writing this blog? It is a cracking start.
ReplyDeleteLysistrata of course it is ok for you to 'sit back' and take notice of what I write and maybe you can contribute, in some way, to the understanding of Alzeimers and how to cope with a loved one who has it.
ReplyDeleteAs time passes I look forward to others input, whetehr critical or no.
Thank you for being the first commentor.